I find myself suffering from spiritual nausea a lot lately. I get glossy magazines I did not order filling up my mailbox with embarrassingly clad women and terrible lies. They go straight to the bottom of the recycling bin, lest my beautiful 6 year old daughter stumble upon them.
Saturday my son was trying to play the Make Your Own Milkshake game on Captain Shenanigans’ iPad, and an ad for a PLASTIC SURGERY GAME popped up, trying to get us to buy the app. Are you kidding me?! It had colorful cartoon pictures of scalpels, syringes of Botox, and a face with a line down the middle so you can compare your work to what you started with. Way to tell children at an early age that God made a mistake on your face.
Don’t even get me started on what’s going on in the News.
Somedays I am brave, and confidently rest in the knowledge that God is not drunk at the wheel, but has a very good plan for us. Most days we spend at least a little time together, God and I, and I converse about what I see and how I feel. I know what the Bible says is true, and I firmly believe it.
But that doesn’t mean there aren’t days I just want to pack up my family, flee to a peaceful quiet countryside, and open my Sunshine and Daisies Petting Zoo. No entrance fee required. That would be my new dream job if I had unlimited funds. Like a public service animal education zoo, with all “hands on”animals. Except ferrets. I hate ferrets.
Girlchild has her last day of school this Friday, and we plan to go to The Land of Little Horses in Gettysburg, Pa to celebrate our new found freedom. Guess who picked that venue, hint: starts with M and ends with an E. I love to escape life into nature, or the beauty of animals. I feel closer to God there, and that makes perfect sense. I subscribe to Country Magazine, and find not only do other people feel the same way I do, but I feel calmer after reading the articles. Albeit, slightly jealous.
But after a school year of anxious children, constant homework assignments, illnesses, potty training, welcoming new pets, and saying goodbye to others; I could stand to blow out of Dodge right now and mosey on up to the PA hills. I mean, who doesn’t feel better after a little miniature horse loving and a literal Dog and Pony show? I’m still amazed by the horse who does math, and the shelter dogs who jump through hoops. They make our pets look simple. Geez, Good Bunny and Girl Bunny haven’t even mastered procreation yet! They are TERRIBLE at breeding. Just mind numbingly bad at anatomy. Despite being a pair of rabbits, they clearly missed the memo on their job descriptions. I give…
Though we do have chickens who can tell time (take that horse who does math), and know how to show up on our back stoop or window sills and glare in at us just prior to meal times, hinting spitefully that we have failed to provide them leftovers. Chicken time seems to run about 45 minutes fast. We usually haven’t begun eating about the time the gang shows up, trying their best to intimidate us with their ability to crap on our steps.
So, I am looking forward to hitting the Pause button on the rest of the World, if even just for a day, and leaving all forms of screens at home (porch screen included :-). Soon my most pressing plan will be to purchase a cup of feed pellets at the gift shop, and watch my offspring shove dry brown nuggets into the waiting mouths of portly fuzzy creatures, who do this daily and will tickle my children’s hands with their soft lips. I will watch my future cowgirl pony ride in a mundane circle at the bottom of a hill, just beside a fictional western town. I will keep an eye on my son as he ducks into the jail house just after his sister explores the holding cell (No booking your sister, Sheriff Manchild).
All this helps me keep perspective from the bombardment of society on my life. Helps me to take small bites and process life, rather than choking on it all at once. Helps me thank God for making teeny, tiny fuzzy creatures that melt your heart, and relax your pulse. Helps me plan how to convince Captain Schenanigans to move to the country and start a petting zoo… or at the very least a small herd of miniature horses. My mother-in-law could knit sweaters for them.