MOOOOMMMMY!” wailed Manchild.


“DON’T LOOK AT ME!!!!” He screams as my eyes apparently melt his flesh.

Sigh. Repeat this scenario on a regular basis, throw in Girlchild and less outdoor playtime, and you get the gist of how things were progressing here in Schenanigansland. The kids whimsically alternate between demanding all our attention, and demanding their privacy (that door, however, does not seem to swing both ways). We are happy to give privacy ’round these parts. We’d also be plenty tickled to receive some as well. Privacy for grown-ups is still a mystery, it appears. My shutting the bathroom door offers ZERO indication of my desire for visitors, it seems, and just makes identifying my location that much easier for those in search of a captive audience. Locking the bathroom door would only  lead to structural damage to the door.

Clearly, it was time to get away.

SO, I found the perfect night, the perfect location, and thanks to my new attempt at Airbnb, the perfect price. Marietta, PA for $46, for one night in a house built in 1832. Yes, please. Mostly due to location (it was an hour from Baltimore), having our own living quarters with street entrance, and spending less on a room away than I use to spend filling up my SUV. I didn’t care what Marietta actually contained, still don’t.

Last night, Captain Schenanigans had his big test in Aikido (a defensive martial art). I dropped the kids at my parents as soon as Girlchild got off the bus, and skedaddled back to my side of town to grab burgers with my hubby before class.

After that, we arrived early at the dojo, early enough for my handsome man to start warming up. Early!! He looks so handsome with no children by his side. He’s so much funnier to dine with when there’s no one fighting at the table. In fact, I forgot how much I liked holding his hand in the car, with no one was asking me to pass them a fallen crayon or water bottle.

Captain Schenanigans rocked his test. I had no doubt that he would. My father-in-law came out to watch (after spending the morning observing Girlchild at her school for Grandparents Day, he’d done his fair share of being an audience that day), and warmed the bench with me.

After the test, the teachers and students shared a bottle of Saki on the  mats and sat around chatting for a while. I don’t take Aikido, but I also didn’t have kids to chase down to bed that night, so I was as happy as a clam at the shore hanging out at a dojo. Or anywhere. I enjoy talking to the female instructor, who I think is so cool. Women who are dangerous but good fascinate me!

At 9:30pm we hit the road, using my printed Mapquest directions because I forgot GPS existed. At the end of the first page of instructions, I realized I didn’t have the second page. I lead us to the right town, but to no particular address. Enter my smart husband and his iPad to save the day with technology.

Except that at some point, he hit the wrong part of the map without noticing (you know I hate touch screens…and non-medical technology) and we were directed elsewhere. The instructions went something like this, literally:

Siri/Bossypants: “Take next right onto Axe Murderer Avenue (okay, I fudged that, but the rest really happened).”

Me: “Look, there’s a one lane underpass. That looks creepy”

Bossypants: “Continue straight for 300 feet”

Me: “Wow, it’s really dark down here. Where are all the lights and houses?”

Bossypants “Park car here and proceed on foot.”

Me: “Nu-uh” (staring into dark wooded area with no houses).

Bossypants:” Exit vehicle and walk remaining 150 feet on foot to reach your destination.”

Me: “Nope. Not gonna happen. ”

Captain: “Where did you book this place??? ”

Turns out he had selected a State Park as our final destination, on the banks of the river that runs through Harrisburg (feel free to Google that). Praise God! That was not where we were supposed to sleep.

After that, our lodging could have been a yurt and so long as there were people and electricity, it would have been peachy keen. This is assuming electric yurts exist, which I don’t know for sure. But I’m sure someone in Colorado does.

Anyway, the next day we slept as looong at possible, and woke up at the scandalously late hour of 9:15. What can we say, our bodies still think our kids are with us. We spent the day goofing off in Lancaster, York, and Shrewsbury. Ending it in my favorite store, Tractor Supply.

It was a great day! We didn’t do anything note worthy, but I had forgotten just how FUN my husband was to be with – when it’s just us. I forgot how witty I could be when I wasn’t frustrated beyond all reason. I remembered exactly who we were when we got married, and felt again the way we did before we had kids. It was refreshing actually, like Kool-Aid to my Dorito parched soul. We ARE still fun. We have not had the good times sucked out of us by questioning midgets who refuse to play by themselves. Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Sometimes it’s just nice to know that.

We came home, I slid the giant mound of clean clothes on our bed over to the side and promptly took a nap with the cat. Yes. A cat nap. Captain tinkered with manly type things, in his individual quest to make heating pads for the bunnies out of household objects. I dunno. I was cat snuggling, read above.

Eventually the timer went off. It was time to get our kids, and reallly be nice to my parents, who kept them for 24hrs without drugs or alcohol. Our kids have the BEST grandparents, on both sides. No joke.

Now the kids are in bed, the laundry is in drawers, and the cat is probably hunting in the basement (don’t ask). The quietness of “just us” has returned to the living room were Captain Schenanigans and I are relaxing. It was a joyful week-end of re-capturing the “best friendship” of our marriage, and almost as good as that, I now remember, it’s only Saturday night. We still have all of tomorrow to hang around and not prepare for hosting Thanksgiving!  🙂



One thought on “BFF’s

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