You know it’s been quite a week when:
- You forgot you have a blog, and can’t remember the last time you visited it.
- You help the kids make a glorious water-filled frog habitat out of the ole turtle sandbox. Assist in adding 2 recently captured tree frogs who fearfully jump into the water, then learn online that tree frogs can’t swim. Google first, act second. Google first, act second. Google first,…
- Your son pre-whines about dinner in the car ride home, then attempts to reserve the right to make a PB&J should your first stab at pleasing his palate fail royally.
- Your daughter interrupts your shower ONLY to request your help in emptying the dishwasher.
- You get an e-mail whilst sitting in your cubicle at work round about 10am, reminding you that this was your week to send snack to preschool, and they eat in 40 minutes. You sent nothing
- You learn that NO ONE delivers pizza before 11am, let alone to a preschool classroom.
- Your jerk of a cat ate your Neighborfriend’s beloved wild bird, and then picked a fight with her elderly golden retriever, earning himself indefinite house arrest.
- You are thrilled to literally get back in the saddle for the first time since getting married, only to learn your horseback riding helmet has expired…14 years ago!
- Your stab at homemade calzones fill the house with the stench of “burnt”while you blog about messing things up. But you still aren’t going to cave to the PBJ request!
- You realize how much you are paying in health insurance and begin e-mailing your husband alternative jobs you have found online for him. Without his request. Because he isn’t searching for a new job. That he knows of. You’re a helper!
- You are having Trader Joe’s chocolate covered frozen banana bites for dinner because those calzones don’t look so appealing, and after all you are headed out to a jewelry party anyway so what do you care about having dinner.
- You lost the rabbit you were watching for a friend who went on vacation. Outside. In your backyard. But thankfully find it later.
- Your daughter approaches you with a butterfly net and safety goggles on her face, asking you where the cat is. You tell the truth.
- You re-visit the family budget, decide the cost of a mortgage in Baltimore is ridiculous, and do a real estate search of Texas land instead. You cry a little inside when you find the perfect house for $65,000!
- You are the ONLY one playing in the hose in the backyard because it is freakin’ hot here all of a sudden and your kid WILL NOT play with you! For once.
This, my friends, is why you have not heard from me in a while. Well, that and we haven’t actually done anything funny since April 24th (last blog entry)!
Picture of Manchild, who refused to stop being the World Sweatiest Spiderman for ONE MINUTE in order to join me in the sprinkler! Sigh. Awkward is our word of the day.