“You need a new laptop”. My tech savy husband informed me, yet again. My old slow one had kicked me off Citrix for the millionth time, and as I yelled for my personal tech support to drop what he was doing and help me sign in before I was late for telecommuting, it was clear this work from home thing wasn’t working for me. Or him, by default.

See, I’m a technology hater. I have grown accustomed to every magical device that works wonders in the commercials failing me royally IRL. This new computer would be no different. I promise you. But since working from home was a must for the foreseeable future, I’d do anything to make it run smoother.

As a public health nurse during COVID 19, I am noticing that while the front line medical people are true heroes (not me, I agreed to help test, but they didn’t need me after all) it’s honestly the computer guru’s who are the unsung heroes for the healthy.

See, when my unit was finally allowed to work from home (after much begging), we were sent a few e-mails with instructions, and told NOT to call OIT (the help desk) for help. We were to each use our own computers and our problems and issues would overwhelm tech support. I get that, but most health departments are not known for their technology skills or youth, and ours was no different. So it was good luck, Suckas!

Thus, my amazing husband set to work ordering me a new laptop for curbside pick up at Micro Center one morning.  By noon it was in a cardboard box laying on my bed, waiting for me to get excited. I ignored it. Hours later, Captain Schenanigans couldn’t wait anymore and ripped into it.

“How are you not more excited about this?”  He asked in disbelief.

“Honestly, computers to me are about as exciting as windshield wipers. They should do wonderful things to make my life easier, but in my world they only ever half work. I am quite used to squinting through the rain, with blades that aren’t yet trashed, but leave half my view smeary and limited. That’s basically computers to me. They never work right”.

He said nothing. Maybe blinked a few times. Then proceeded to attacked my laptop like a fox in a hen house. Meanwhile, I still don’t even know what kind it is, even as I type.

Last night we lost power, meaning we lost internet. Wind was whipping around outside causing a tree to fall on the power line next door, making it smoke and smolder.  The whole Schenanigans clan when through entertainment withdrawal.  Manchild can’t fall asleep without a British woman online speaking calm meditations to him. Not kidding. SO, so, so very much not kidding.

OK, I thought to myself, I’ll just use this time to type up a fresh blog on a blank document and copy it to my page after the power resumes. Seemed easy and reasonable to me. Nope. Forty minutes later I’ve up used all my mom-allotted angry words, and threw in the towel on finding  ANY way to put words on the screen of this over-priced coaster before me!

Lo and behold, twenty minutes later Captain Schenanigans had finished his group chat  and pulled up a note pad on the computer for me. By then I was already knee deep in watching Valentines Day, and bawling over Julia Roberts missing her Manchild-aged son while deployed. The moment to blog had passed like a thief in the night. Or my memory of any given password. Gone.

So while this pandemic has thrown everyone’s plans into an uproar with it’s merciless behavior, if you are able to carry out business as usual (or close enough to it), thank a computer person. Because despite being a public health nurse during a massive pandemic, my job hasn’t really changed that much. But as a sound engineer who supports teleconferencing technologies, Captain Schenanigan’s been busier than a one armed paper hanger! If we all have to telecommute (and Girlchild just got diagnosed with a sinus infection over the phone- after three tries to get the camera working), I’m thankful that at least some people know how to do it! Now please, could you help the rest of us?