Is it me, or has 2021 just been straight up weird? First the kids are out of school, 100% virtual for soooooooo long. Then they just barely get back in school for 2 days a week, and the school announces they’ll be back in school for 4 days a week. Now because we’ve now gotten on a roll about making speedy decisions, we’ve already declared next year is going to be 5 days a week. Whaaaat?
Girlchild has loved going back to school, even though recess has mostly consisted of just standing in a field. They can’t use the playground, can’t touch each other, or come within six feet of each other. For reasons I may never know, my girl has learned to use this socially distanced time as an opportunity to perfect swinging her 8ft jump rope above her head as fast as she can. Perfect Covid recess activity, what could go wrong here?!
One bonus from this chaos, now that all the lunches are free, my girl is willing to try school lunch for the first time in all six years of her public school education. Annnnd ya wanna know what she found? That by eating school lunch a couple of days a week, she can avoid having to pack her lunch every. Single. Day! A novel thought. One I have spent literally hundreds of evenings considering over the past 6 years as I was sentenced to packing lunches, wishing this kid would just give school lunch a whirl. Nope. Not until she’s good and ready. Not until she’s 8 weeks away from leaving Elementary school forever, would she even taste what they had to offer. Let alone rave about their pizza!
I think we’ve all gotten weirder, too. But maybe that’s just the tweenager stage Girlchild and Manchild have pulled our family in to. I mean, it could be due to the inability to socialize for the past year and a half without rules, masks, precautions, and alcohol based products. But I really don’t think that’s it. I think it’s just good old fashioned genetics hard at work here.
Case in point, the other day Girlchild managed to injure her fingers playing dodgeball with her Dad. Now, Captain Schenanigans is not known for going easy on the children when it comes to games, neither of us are the coddling sort actually, but her version of the story is that she was violently thrown to the ground and broke all her fingers. The truth of the matter is probably something a little more along the lines of her tripping over a tree root and spraining her fingers, but either way they hurt. Being the gentle nurse of a mother I am, I explained that they weren’t broken, chucked 2 ibuprofen down her throat, and shoved her out the door. A week later she was still bemoaning her pitiful fingers (which amazingly worked just fine when it came to playing Minecraft or eating dinner), though admitted they hurt a bit less. As she was getting ready for bed I hear her scream as only a dramatic 11yr old girl can do. I mosey in her general direction and hear her exclaiming to her father that she accidentally walked on her hurt fingers! Now being the gentle nurse of a mother that I am, I actually do know quite a bit about anatomy, and I see a questionable challenge here. How exactly does getting ready for bed lead you to accidentally walk on your hands? And in what Jane Goodall formation were you getting your pajamas on so that this even became a possibility? Mother of monkeys, I had no answers for this little ape.
Now lest you think that Girlchild was a bit addled in the brain, she’s actually quite smart! She’s been enrolled in all Gifted and Talented classes for next year. Which is why situations like this next one always leave me a bit more perplexed. Girlchild and I were riding in the car on our way home, when she heard a noise from above.
Girlchild: Mom, there’s an airplane pulling a sign!
Me: Ok (this in not uncommon on Preakness week-end, being so close to Pimlico, and several beaches)
Girlchild: But I didn’t get to read what it said!
Me: That’s fine. It was probably just an ad for something.
Girlchild: But what if it’s important?!
Me: It’s not.
Girlchild (dead serious): But what if we’re BEING INVADED OR SOMETHING!
Me: Um… that’s not actually how the government communicates with us… (?????)
May need to write someone a letter about the social studies curriculum in Baltimore County, perhaps a tad bit lacking in the poly sci.
But back to the other weird things, raise your hand if you know where you are and aren’t supposed to wear a mask. What? No one? Yeah, same here. I know where we are allowed to not wear masks, I know where I have seen mask signs come down, and I know of one store that took down their external mask sign, then moved it 10 feet inside the door and left it up again. Super confusing, thanks Savers. I mean, it feels great to use gym equipment at the YMCA without feeling like you were going to suffocate, and I’m glad the vaccination levels are increasing (gentle nurse, remember), but I gotta say we’re all finding this shifting middle ground just awkward and…weird.
Don’t get me started on the cicadas. I don’t know if you all have them, wherever you are, my friend in CO says she does not, but we got ’em. By the buckets full in Maryland! Manchild (also weird), has named all the live ones “Johnny” and all the hollow shells “Bob”. Now I remember having them around as a kid in elementary school, and they never really bothered me. I was kinda fascinated by the science of them, and they’re harmless over all. Now as an adult, my biggest complaint is stepping on the Johnny’s while I am barefoot. Blech! I’m always curious where they seem to congregate. I’ve started leaving my porch lights off to decrease the masses that drag themselves up on my door step over night, but it only helps a little. Of course my tidy neighbors never seem to have any. It’s like they are attracted to chaos, and flock to my house! I dropped a shovel full of ’em into the chicken pen and all my hens scattered and hid. Chicken.
But over all, weird isn’t bad. It’s just memorable. We are by no means living in the weirdest times in history. Just open a Bible and read through some of the plagues, or Jesus’ miracles. Now that guy was weird- in a very, very good way. I’m not against weird. It just makes for some interesting memories… and a lot of over sharing on Facebook! 🙂
What else is weird? Why does WordPress keep changing my font sizes and hiding the option to change them back? They are SO weird (and frustrating)!!!